home sweet home!

well, i just realized that i haven' t given anyone an update since i got home!

It feels GREAT to be home! I can talk to people, and hang out with family and friends. i'm overall happier here at home. i can drive around and KNOW where i'm going, at least when it's not raining and dad doesn't have my car. haha

i filled out college applications the week after i got home. and yesterday (october 14, 2009) i got accepted to Georgia Gwinnett College. Now i have to send in my transcripts and immunization records and enroll! (:

I also got a PUPPY!! she is a siberian husky, and has bright blue eyes. I first picked the name Stormy Sky because her fur is dark like a storm but her eyes are sky blue... but it got confusing because our friends have a dog named Chey (pronounced "shy") and so i kept calling my puppy shy... so i renamed her Zoe and now i have my two favorite "z"s in the world... Zack and Zoe. (:

i think thats it for now.. (:

happiness...

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” --Aristotle

Well, i know some people read my last blog entry and were worried about me. I appreciate all the love and support i have had from people back home. Thank you for your prayers and uplifting spirits, when we talk! In the three weeks i have been here i have learned things about myself that I am not sure i would have known without moving here. One of them being that, I am a "home-body", you see, when i was little i used to think i would meet my "prince charming" get married and get the heck out of Georgia i couldn't stand being in Georgia, i've never known why but i think i just needed a chance to get out before i could realize that the only place i really want to be is near my family and the ones i love. There is no where else i'd rather be, which brings me to my next point: Happiness, which is the title of this blog, as the quote by Aristotle says "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life.." and i honestly believe that. Being happy is what makes you, you. If you aren't happy with what you're doing or where you're at, then nothing will ever feel "in place". You will always feel "lost" or "lonely" nothing will ever be good enough, no matter how hard you try. So, that being said, i am not happy, and do not think that i can achieve happiness here in Germany. My next point would be, BE YOURSELF, be yourself in everything you do, if you don't feel like you can be yourself because you are afraid of what people will think, then you aren't in the right place in your life. While here in Germany, i have become a quite, reserved, shy girl, and for those of you who honestly KNOW me that's not me at all. I cannot be "TAYLOR" here and i need to be somewhere where "TAYLOR" can come out and i need to be around people who wont have a problem with that. I have realized that i have let some friends slide through fingers, and it's time that change. It's not everyday you can find people who will love you, for you and appreciate you, for you.

Some may say "you didn't give it enough time" or "you gave up", i don't feel like these statements are true, i have tried to find some sense of "home" here. The famous saying says "Home is where you hang your heart", well my "heart" is in Georgia with my family and friends, i don't believe i can make this my home anymore than a horse can live in a dog house. I am glad that i could have this experience and i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. But it's time to come home, and start being myself again. I don't know my plans for the future, i do know that i will be looking for a job, pulling my own weight around the house and be thankful and gracious for everything my parents have done, are doing, and will do for me. They are the reason for my existence, (as much as none of us want to think about that) and for that we have to give them credit.

thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you, again, for all your support.

good days & bad days

I'm settling in very nicely. The first few days were the hardest because the second day i was here they had a break-in, and the thief stole 3 laptops in the office i was supposed to use. I also didn't have any locks on my doors yet and it just made me miss home and feel unprotected. We recently bought me a new lock for my door, and today (Wed, september 9, 09) i got an internet hook-up in my room. I was feeling very uncomfortable having to go upstairs into the office area where there had been a break-in to get on my computer and talk to my parents and friends. But now it will be much better! i can sit on my couch and be comfortable!

so far we have just been around town and we went to the world's largest cuckoo clock! It was very cool! but the cuckoo was a little disappointing for such a big bird/ clock the cuckoo was not very loud. lol and i am learning new words everyday! My class starts on the 21st of september, and hopefully i will be able to speak some German before mom and dad come so i can show them around, as long as i know where i am going. lol

there are good days and bad days, when it comes to missing

home. but i am looking forward to the good days to come. Next week i will be able to go to the stables and ride a horse, of course i will have to learn how to ride english instead of western, but it will be okay! The stable belong to Britta's friend and she gives lessons to some girls my age and hopefully they will speak english so i can make some friends! And there is an International Horse Show next week Thursday-Sunday and Britta says we will try to go to it, because Henry LOVES animals he will also enjoy it just as much as me!

well, that's it for now. Love you and miss you all very much!

arrived, safe and sound.

well, it's September 1st and i arrived in Zurich today at 11:30. it was a crazy night on the plane then an hour lay over in Paris, where is was raining like crazy. We still took off right on time, with lots of turbulance that scared the crap out of me. it feels like no one speak English, even tho i know Britta does it's just crazy because she talks to Henry in German and i have no clue what they are saying. I miss home, and everyone at home. But i know this will take some time to get used to. I don't have wifi in my room so i have to sit in the office and have a direct hook-up thing. it's kinda annoying because i want to go lay on my bed and watch a movie. but oh well, maybe i will talk to Britta about getting a hook-up in my room. so i don't have to walk up the stairs to get to the office. She let me call my mom today on the work phone, and gave me some special number so it doesn't cost alot. we talked for a while and it made me sad, and i also called daddy. He is trying to get me to put on a "happy" face. i'm happy to be here and to have this experience but i miss home already. Hopefully it will get better and i will meet some people who speak english. My language class doesn't start until the 21st of September and that feels like forever away! I hope i meet people my age in the class! Well, it's 10 pm here and 4 pm at home, mom and dad should both be getting off work and hopefully mom will get on the computer so i can talk to her. i think i'm done for now. there will be more later when there is more to talk about..

goodnight.

3 weeks exactly...

well, just like the title says, it's 3 weeks to the day until i leave for Germany and people are already planning their visits. but that's alright with me. i just hope they come at good times.

i'm getting nervous about the class i have to take. what if i can't pick up the language? I'll have to leave after 90 days and everything i've been looking forward to for 5 months! i pray that everything works out and i make it there okay, and that they like me and i like them. and that everyone who wants to visit can visit and will have a place to stay. there are so many things running through my head that i can't type them all out.

i'm sad about leaving my family, friends and especially Sarah. I cried for the FIRST time this week about leaving and it was when me and sarah were getting ready to go out and see a movie, she started doing my make-up and i was thinking that that will probably be the last time that happens for a whole year and i couldn't even let her finish my eyeshadow! it was crazy. and yesterday she stayed the night after a 4 hour bowling extravaganza and this morning when we woke up she looked at me and said i'm really gonna miss you, and she started crying which in return made me cry. ugh! it was insane!

well, that's all i have to say for now. not much has really gone on, just shopping. we found a winter coat and lots of sweaters and stuff! so that's good! (: My parents gave me my birthday present already, we are going to "The Hike Inn" i'm super excited, mom, dad, tiffany, chris and sarah get to go with me! it will be a rough hike up there tho!

okay, goodnight.

MacBook

So, I'm sitting at home, on the couch... Why do all my blogs start out like this? Why am i always sitting? Why can't i stand and type? ha. anyyyyways.. 

I'm watching TV with my dad, i know i should be doing something productive, like going to the gym or just going for a walk (it's a gorgeous night!) or starting to clean out my room so it's easier to pack when the time comes..

When the time comes, and that time would be August 31st at 6:15 pm, thats right, i've got a plane ticket to Germany. My plane leaves at the time i stated before, and i'll wake up in Paris, have an hour to get to my new plane and get in my seat, then fly off to Zurich! I'll arrive in Zurich, Germany at 11:30 am on September 1st. Then, on September 7th i'll start my language class. everything is sinking in and I'm getting more and more excited/nervous about everything! 

i love my family and my friends, and will miss them so much! but I'm looking forward to the adventures i will have in Europe. I can't wait to meet Britta, George, and Henry! I found out she will be having a girl in October! I'm also excited about meeting new people in my language class, and hopefully i can learn German, so i can stay the whole year! (: 

:]

a week and a half ago i got my wisdom teeth out and they are healing perfectly fine, i also got a tattoo less than a week ago which is healing nicely. 

Sarah left today for Teen Camp, with her church, she'll be gone until next sunday. But i guess that's alright since i'll be leaving on Wednesday night to go to IL and spend time with the Laxton's, see my cousin Michael pitch in a Burlington Bee's minor league game, then we are off to see my Dad's family in Indiana. Jeremy and Kayla are coming down a week from thursday! I can't wait to see all of them, it will be the last time i see any of my dad's family for a whole year!! it will be exciting and sad at the same time! 

I got a new MacBook && iPod Touch. (: I'm not spoiled, just privileged to have parents that love me SO much! 

thats all for now, love you!

--wishful thinking--

Well, i'm sitting here and i was thinking about the past month, how great it's been but then again how awful it's been. Spending time with my friends and family has been amazing and it's made me really think about how i'm going to miss them when i leave. Bell's Palsy has showed me how strong i'm going to have to be in life, no matter what comes your way faith, family and friends will always be there for you! I've fully recovered from the Bell's Palsy with is only a God thing! i can't describe how great it is to not have to worry about smiling crooked or not being able to blink! well, lets just say i'm happy i can smile again! and i'm ecstatic to have people in my life who make me want to smile! :D

Sarah, Mrs. Reis, My mom and I went on a girls trip to Washington D.C. and Hershey PA for a "girl's vacation" it was absolutely AMAZING. D.C. is a gorgeous city, but it also reminded me why i love living where i live, there were so many people and SO much TRAFFIC, i knew Atlanta was bad but GEEZE! After we got back from that trip i barely unpacked before i packed again for a week at the lake with Sarah. it was just the one-on-one friend time we needed. we had our fight for the week but we talked it out and got over it. And all-in-all, i think, it brought us closer together. i'm really gonna miss her while i'm in Germany! and will be counting down the days until she comes to visit me! (:

4th of July was great! we had shelley and the kids over for swimming and dinner and then went and watched fireworks.. zack attach fell asleep in my arms and i think i was about to cry thinking about how much i'm gonna miss the McIntyre Family! i'm gonna miss alot of stuff while i'm gone, but i hope i get updated, and not forgotten. I'm babysitting tonight, for the McIntyre's, well more like house sitting at this point, kids have been fed and totally exhausted themselves playing at the McDonald's PlayPlace! and watching zack climb up the stairs, slide down and then grin ear from ear was priceless! I love these kids! well, most of the time! ;)

Now i'm sitting here thinking about this week and how it could be a bad week, Sarah is out of town, Eddie is still in Florida, Tiffany will be back at her house, now that Chris is home from Costa Rica. **He had the swine flu and had to stay in the hospital down there without her for a couple of days! and now that he's back he has to stay in his house, and he can't work! doesn't that suck? but he hasn't had a fever in a couple of days so he should be getting over it now! which is a VERY good thing!** but i kinda liked having Tiffy stay at the house again! it could also be a bad week because i have to have my wisdom teeth surgically removed on Thursday. and i'm NOT looking forward to it. i went in yesterday (monday) for the first 'meeting' and mom says lets get this over with and schedualed the surgery for thursday. i guess it could be a good thing, because i don't have much time to freak out about it... altho what am i doing right now? oh yeah, freaking out about it. the doctor is very nice and comes highly recomended! he says that the roots aren't fully grown so now is the perfect time to take them out! (: so that's good! i'm not looking forward to looking like a bloated fish, but it should be funny and you know i love to have people laugh on my account, so you know there will be pictures on facebook, of me, looking like a chipmunk with a mouthful of nuts... ha. (don't take that the wrong way!) well, i guess i should let ya'll go. i know you've read enough of my boring life...


Love you all. Keep me in your prayer Thursday morning at 10:15 (that's the surgery time!)


ps.. i'll leave you with these thoughts.. (:

--Wishful Thinking--

To be where I want to be
To be there when I want to be
To be in the place which I call home...
Is wishful thinking..

To have horses roam nearby,
To have cars in my garage,
which I could call mine,
Would be wishes

Everyone has wishful thoughts,
Everyone has dreams and visions,
Everyone desires a certain lifestyle.
To have my friendship strengthened,
To have my friendship to be better than they ever were,
To have my friends back where I can talk to them,
To have them here with me, sharing tears, sharing laughter and pain.
These are all wishful thoughts, dreams that vanish in thin air.

Everyone has their share of wishful thoughts.
Everyone has their share of longing to be loved.
Longing to be accepted.

Wishful thoughts just could become true.
You'd only have to make sure you thoughts and wishes are in the realm of reality.

Wishful thoughts, wishes and dreams can turn into reality only if you let your dreams to be in the circle of reality and life.

Wishful thoughts, dreams and such could be the future.

***Never give up on your dreams, no matter how they seem to be more like wishes then reality try, try, and try. Don't give up once you've fallen, rise and continue.-If you know your dream is in the circle of life [circle of reality] then do your best to reach for your dream. Do what you can to make it become reality.

ugh, a boring saturday...

that's no fun...

it's 12:27, i just woke up about an hour ago, and i'm sitting at the computer writing thank you cards... thinking about what i'm going to do later. and all i could think of is, pool. ugh. how boring is that? all i ever do i sit by the pool, what the heck is wrong with me! i need to find something else to do... altho sitting by the pool is relaxing and poolside naps are the best. but seriously, everyday at the pool is a bit excessive... i wish august 28th would get here faster! i'm getting bored and i didn't want this to be a boring summer... i need it to be fun and i need to spend the most of it with my friends because i wont see them for a whole YEAR! and i'm gonna miss them like crazy! well i guess i should also spend some time with my family but with Dad in Australia, Tiffany and Chris leaving for Costa Rica soon, and Mom working all the time, i seem to be left at home, ALONE... wow.

writing Thank you cards is not holding my attention very well and i'm very bored...

you may ask where is Sarah today? uhh. well, she is at her house doing government homework and on her new wii fit getting a workout. I would say invite the McIntyre family to the pool but since the kids got grounded from all that is fun, that would include the pool, and the park, and anything else fun. DUH. and even tho mom is not working today it seems to be even more boring because now i actually have to do stuff around the house instead of 'wake up, put swim suit on, and go to the pool.'

awesome.

well, since mom just looked at me like i was crazy and we are just now eating "breakfast" and i should be writing my thank you cards because i'm supposed to have them all done by Wednesday before we leave for PA. which doesn't sound like it should be a problem but since i get distracted and bored easily i've only got 3 done in an hour. yeah. i'm a genius!

oh joy!

well, this has sustained my boredom long enough... enjoy!

oh and the bell's palsy is clearing up nicely, and since i am using those muscles more and more everyday. everyday is increasingly more painful.

yay.

(can't you just taste the sarcasm?)

eh... what a week.

it has been some week! Monday i felt strange, i just didn't feel like myself. but i went through the day without complaining. I went out to a movie with my friends and at dinner after the movie i KNEW something wasn't right! We came back to my house and i talked to my mom and as soon as she saw me try to smile, she sat up and said "You have bell's palsy" then laid back down to go to sleep. altho 5 minutes later mom and dad were both out of bed and doing "research" on what doctor to take me to first thing in the morning. it didn't help when mom read off all the bad things that could happen, like it could never go away, or some symptoms may decrease but you could have permanent nerve damage. (for those of you who do not know what Bell's Palsy is: Bell's Palsy is partial paralysis of the facial nerves, causing only one side to be paralyzed. Due to the fact that the nerves are not functioning, it is not painful. The eye, however, may become dry due to the possible inability to close the eyelid.) I am luck, my eye will close but will not shut tightly. so it does become dried out. when i smile only half my face lights up, this is what i'm most disappointed about, for those of you who know me will know that i LOVE to smile, *smilling's my favorite*, (just a little movie quote for ya!) anyways, it's the right side of my face that is paralyzed and with that comes blurry vision, even with glasses, an uneven smile, and some hearing loss. Bleh. doesn't seem good. but the doctor's believe that this could be cause by a virus, so they gave me some meds to take. and i pray they work and that this is not a permanent thing!

My family has been supportive, altho at times taking the joking to an extreme. They know it's hard for me to deal with this, being a teenager and every teenager gets judged as soon as he or she walks out he/she's door. they make me laugh about it and joke, at times i laugh just so there isn't a waterfall in public.

I find this is the case with most insecurities of mine, i joke about them, just so everyone thinks i'm okay with them, when in reality it kills me. but anyways, so for the past 3 days i've been resting which includes sitting at home, reading, watching movies. and i did get to go to stone mountain Wednesday night! that was fun!

I would like to thank Sarah, she is my best friend and has been super supportive. She knows when to just sit there and hold my hand and let me cry about it, but then again she knows when we can laugh about it without going to far! i love her with all my heart and wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. i wouldn't know how to get through this without her!

without any more boredom... i'll let you get back to whatever you are supposed to be doing.

because we all know you are reading this either because you are bored and have nothing else to do, or you are supposed to be doing something but you're procrastinating!

love always,
Taylor

oh sweet sleep!

i wish it were that easy!

for some odd reason i haven't been sleeping well.

i figured while i'm awake i'd tell you about my weekend... it started thursday night when Sarah, Eddie and Zavior came over and watched "So You Think You Can Dance" with me... they all had to leave early... lol. Then, Friday Sarah came over at around 8 and we hung out and watched tv, then we went to Eddie's house and hung out with him and Mindy and Blake came over too, then at about 11pm we went to waffle house and Eddie ate some yummy food. (: and at midnight we went to the bowling alley for some cosmic bowling, we were there until like 1:45. it was awesome! and SOOOO much fun! i have some crazy friends and i love them oh so much and i'm gonna miss them that much more come end of august... saturday, i don't really remember what i did saturday. lol. sunday was a lazy boring rainy day. and then today, monday, me, eddie, andrei and anthony went swimming (in the rain) it was fun, but FREEZING! Then me and the family went to a gwinnett braves game and it rained some more! ha. it's like Georgia can't get enough rain this year, compared to last year. Are we even still in a drought? I sure hope not!

so, tomorrow, tuesday i'm hopefully sleeping in, but as i said before sleep has been not so well lately, me and dad have to go to state farm and get my contracts noterized, then we are going to file a police report so i can maybe get out of debt from when that stupid lady scammed me. ugh, anyways, then we are going shopping! (: i don't NEED new clothes but after getting the news i can't get a laptop until end of july, i could use a pick me up!

on wednesday, me and dad are supposed to be going to the Germany Embassy to set up my Visa for a year! i hope everything goes well and my plans don't get screwed up. that would suckkkkkkk! and everything i've been looking forward to will be flushed down the toilet! lets just pray that everything works out fine and i'll be suppppper happy! (:

ahh. i think that's all for now. hopefully getting all of this off my chest will help me sleep a little bit better tonight.

love you all!

Here's My Hello

Or,

Here's My Goodbye is more like it.

Today is Monday, May 18, 2009. I've just moved on to the next step in my life (I'VE GRADUATED!) Yes, it's official. I'm a high school graduate. School is OVER!

Over the years I've learned many lessons!

• don't climb a dresser and drink a WHOLE bottle of Dimatap. (not good for you! you will end up going to the ER and getting your stomach pumped.)



• don't walk backwards in your basement. (you end up with a broken arm.)



• don't sit around all summer doing nothing and getting fat, you'll get made fun of at school for the rest of your life, and it's hard to loose that weight!



• don't trust anyone, except family!



• don't hurt the people you love, they may just walk away from you.. but then again...



• don't give your heart to a guy, who in the end will only change his mind and shatter your whole world.



• choose your friends wisely!

But as for my future, it is filled with plans of travel and fun!